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Different is beautiful. This is so true yet we sometimes find it difficult to accept our individual beauty and see only our flaws. I see this so many times with the women I meet who are quick to point out the things they dislike or would like to change about themselves or their bodies and I wonder why we don’t highlight the great stuff about ourselves first?
Is it a British thing or are we taught or learn over time as women that we shouldn’t boast or brag about ourselves or our successes? I am always surprised about the way brilliant and often powerful women talk about themselves, often picking out their least favourite or even hated parts of their body which they feel I should know about. Sometimes it’s very useful for example if they’re big busted that helps me plan out relevant outfits/tops although I still think it’s a part of our bodies and without drastic decisions like surgery or severe weight loss it’s not something easily changed.
My point is we may as well embrace our bodies; after all they have gone through with us, grown and birthed babies, endured hardships, taken us on wonderful adventures, weathered bad times, journeys of weight loss/gain, got us through illness, injury and embraced pleasure/love and beautiful friendships. I think the hardest journey is learning how to love our flaws and uniqueness rather than being embarrassed, angry or disappointed in ourselves and striving for perfection.
Clothes and the way we wear them can help us embrace our bodies, accept our supposed flaws and highlight the fantastic parts of our bodies and personalities which we can let shine through our personal style. Recently I met a potential who told me three very negative things about herself within minutes of meeting me, almost like an apology for who she is and the way she perceives her body looks. The weird part of this encounter was in my head I was instantly thinking ‘What a great smile she has, it lights up her whole face and I bet great legs underneath that!’ So who is right? Well we both are as the way she perceives herself is her belief that’s what everyone sees and the way I saw her is absolutely true as I am convinced that no-one could be immune to that mega-watt smile!
The way I would intend styling this woman is to help her achieve confidence by highlighting all the fantastic things about herself and teaching her that her perceived flaws are irrelevant compared to the many positives. Personal styling is just that, personal to each and every client and it should always empower and liberate the client from their self doubt and let their true personality and awesomeness shine through.
It is difficult to let go of fears and self-doubt, I know as I have been there and we all have days where we just don’t feel great or on top of our game, but there are a few things I’ve learnt along the way that may help if you are feeling self critical or not liking what you see in the mirror;
Think of all the brilliant things your body has helped you achieve in your life
Repeat a positive mantra to yourself “I love ___ about myself.”
Don’t compare yourself to others – you are unique
Wear something you think you can’t and challenge your perception of age, size etc
Surround yourself by other positive people who love/like you for you
Invest in yourself – whether it’s time to yourself, a fresh challenge or a new haircut
Believe in yourself – you are more brilliant than you realise!
I hope these tips help you learn to love yourself a little bit more and embrace the real you. It’s not bragging or arrogance, it’s believing in yourself so you can be the best version of you – we only get one life let’s make the most of it!
I love my resilience, I may get down in the dumps when times are tough, but I always come up fighting and I love my hair as it continually evolves which each colour and cut and it provides me with many random conversations with strangers! Let me know something about yourself that you love?
Abbey,
Stories With Clothes.
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